Stream Of Consciousness

Random "Stream Of Consciousness" Thought

Damned If I Do; Damned If I Don't: I have Restrictive Lung Disease, which was recently changed by my pulmonologist from Obstructive Lung Disease.

If I don't take my inhaled medications, I can't sleep because I have difficulty breathing, and I am coughing. If I take my medication, I can't sleep because the side effects are nervousness or shakiness, headache, throat or nasal irritation (also coughing), muscle aches, and rapid heart rate. The feeling is like drinking many cups of caffeinated coffee all day, every day.

I have been inhaling a reduced amount of medication, but that isn't solving anything.

I only drink two cups of caffeinated coffee every morning, which I enjoy. I probably could abate the effects if I ceased drinking caffeinated coffee or switched to decaf, but I don't want to do that.

Actually, I probably should switch to tea or just go cold turkey. Headaches arise with caffeine withdrawal, but because my medications also cause headaches, it's a moot point. Also, if I stop drinking coffee, it would be like I was denying my heritage, especially Italian and Austrian, but also Swiss and Portuguese, and I didn't want to get into the fiasco of drinking caffeinated coffee and taking my full dose of medication, and then having to take a sleeping pill every evening. That seems reckless and unhealthy.

Anyway, my conclusion is to drink less caffeinated coffee, to take the full dosages of my prescribed medications, and to deal with the accompanying restlessness without medication. I also need to be diligent in regard to doing my lung exercises of which I have been lax.

Thanks for reading. I just wanted to share my thought process on this issue.

March 27, 2025, at home